You Time is Gonna Come: Missing Scene
by dancingpixie
Summary: Why did Tommy go from being so harsh with Jude to understanding in at the end of the episode? Here is my take on what might have happened, and what was the impact of Kwest walking in on their fight...
1. Missing Scene

**Missing Scene: Your Time Is Gonna come **

_Author's Note: Why did Tommy go from being so harsh with Jude to understanding in at the end of the episode? Here is my take on what might have happened… _

_Author's Note 2: Here is a slight re-write of this chapter, which I feel tightens up the ending a lot more._

Kwest first met Tommy when he still had cornrows and wore shinny parachute pants. As a roadie for Boyz Attack, he had learned to admire Tommy's musical skills at a sound checks where he insisted that the band stayed until the sound was prefect. And it was on the same tours that Kwest also garnered a healthy respect for Tommy's ability to attract women. Even after Tommy had transformed himself from boy-band singer to producer, the ability make women swoon had remained. And while Tommy didn't take advantage of the fact the way that he used to, that didn't mean that he had turned into a monk.

Which was why Kwest was pretty shocked to hear Jude asking, "Why wouldn't you sleep with me?"

The good thing about having known Tommy for some many years is that Kwest had perfected the art of just ignoring an awkward moment and just carrying on. And this didn't even rank as the most personal moment of Tommy's that he had walked into. So half and hour later when Tommy slammed himself into the seat beside him, Kwest just leaned back in his chair and asked, "Want to hear the recordings that SME made this morning?"

Rubbing his temples Tommy absented-mindedly grabbed for a piece of red liquorice, "Yeah, let's hear it." For the rest of the afternoon they worked through the song, adjusting the tempo and mix, noticeably leaving the vocals out.

It was getting late when Kwest pushed himself away from the board and turned to Tommy, "How about calling it a night? Not a whole lot of left to do and we need Jude's input anyways."

It took a moment for Kwest's comments to register with Tommy, eventually he muttered, "I think I am going to keep working…see you tomorrow."

Even if Kwest hadn't heard what he had today it would have known that something was up. Deciding to bite the bullet, he spoke casually as getting ready to go, "Listen man, I'm not going to be telling anyone about what I heard today, but I guarantee that Jude will tell Sadie. For my own sanity and for that of everyone else we work with I recommend that you get whatever is going on between the two of you sorted out."

Tommy paused and leaned back in his chair, "It may not be that easy, Jude offered sex last night and I said no. Which is not really my style."

Kwest laughed, "No it is really not. But neither is Jude the seduction sort."

"She did have a run in with Cassandra yesterday."

"That is enough to shake any woman up. But you aren't telling me that it made you question what you've got with Jude?"

"Hell no. But she reminded Jude how I haven't been known for my monogamy." Tommy gave Kwest a sidelong glance, after all no one knew his past with women better then him, "Jude wanted a list."

Kwest winced, "And you gave it to her?"

"What else was I supposed to do? And I never thought she would go all bad porno movie on me."

"Now there is an image." Kwest shook his head, "And yeah, three years ago, I would have said that it was a bad idea. But she is not fifteen anymore."

"Trust me, I saw her in lingerie, I know." Tommy got up and headed towards the kitchen. Grabbing beers from the fridge he popped them open and passed one to Kwest.

Beer and girls, now that brought back feelings of the old days, "You and Jude have always had chemistry. Everyone in the studio knew it was only a matter of time. And if you were worried about messing up your professional relationship with romance, that ship has sort of already sailed."

"Yeah, but what everyone doesn't know is that Jude made a choice. I asked her to go to Thailand the same day that Pencil-neck wanted her to start working at his new label. We didn't just happen. It was a conscious decision for her to be with me."

"To loose her virginity with you." Kwest finished the sentence left hanging in the air. Tommy's sharply glanced up. "Sadie tells me things."

Tommy took a deep glup of his beer, "Exactly, and I thought that she would want it to be special – but instead she became this freaked out kid who just really wasn't ready. She chose me – but maybe she can't deal with the reality of being with me."

Slowly a situation where Tommy would turn away not just any woman but a woman that he found deeply attractive was becoming more plausible in Kwest's mind, "You don't think that she could cope with the fact that you aren't the stable boy next door."

Tommy rubbed his eyes, "Jude has always been the one who saw the best in me. And when I failed, she challenged me to be better. But last night, I saw this look in her eyes – like she was only seeing what true Tom Quincy was like."

Kwest slapped his hand down on the table, "That is crap man, and your know it. Jude is just deceptive. I spend all day working with this incredible devoted professional on music which is complex and insightful. Yet then I come home to find her and the boys from SME throwing Kraft Dinner around the kitchen. What I am trying to say is that it is easy to forget but she is not yet even 19. And she is going to freak out about the things that 19 year olds freak out about…. Like their boyfriends' pasts."

"I knew giving her the list was going to be a disaster, that part of my life is over."

"Dude, I never thought it was even that much a part of your life. I saw you on the road. I met most of your women and heard about the rest. What I know is that as much as you used those women, they used you. And you can't pretend your life back then didn't happen, because in a lot of ways it is what makes Jude so special to you. It isn't a question about whether Jude understands what she got herself into. She just doesn't have the life experience to know what sleeping with will mean to you."

Tommy nodded, "The things is, is that she is exactly who I want. She looks at me and I just lose myself in her, she's funny, kind and making music with her is absolutely amazing. And I couldn't do it last night…because I wanted it to be with the girl I fell in love with, with not some parody of her."

"I don't think Jude really understands that," Kwest put his empty beer on the counter, "And if you want save your relationship with her got to give her some context."

For a moment all could be heard was the whirling of the vacuuming in the offices next door. Tommy looked down at his hands, "Thanks man. I guess I really needed to get this off my chest."

Kwest shrugged, "Don't worry about it. But I feel like I am walking on thin ice here… If Sadie found out that I knew you hurt her sister and didn't deck you…well I don't even want to think about it."

Tommy laughed, "Yeah, this conversation is going to stay between you and me."

Throwing his beer can in the recycling Kwest slapped Tommy on the back and headed for the elevator, "Like that night in Amsterdam?"

"Exactly. It never happened." Tommy started to walk back to the studio, "See you in the morning."

So much had changed in 10 years since Kwest and met Tommy, and not just the replacement of corn rows with hair gel. Yet it was good to know that some stuff stayed the same. As Kwest stood in the elevator he thought back to the first time he and Tommy had stayed up late talking about the complexities of women and drinking beer. It has been on a bus to some god-forsaken place in Arizona and Kwest had just been dumped by his high school girlfriend. It was there that Kwest really saw Tommy, not just as a lothario and musician but as a good person. And Kwest had complete faith that Jude had chosen Tommy because she could see it too.


	2. Context

Tommy sat in the producer's chair looking into the empty recording booth for a long time. He glanced at the bag of red liquorice sitting over to one side of the board with a half smile and regret. He rarely questioned his promise to Mrs. M. that to quit smoking but on nights like liquorice was no replacement for a cigarette.

His conversation with Kwest kept on repeating in his mind. The sound engineer was right, Jude was owed an explanation for why he acted the way that he did yesterday. Normally he didn't mind fighting with her - in fact it was half of what made working with her so much fun. But today wasn't fighting, she was right, he had humiliated her. However, he was right too, he couldn't change his past and she had to trust him. Still, she was keeping it together pretty good for someone who was just over 18 (far better then he had at that age), and was owed some "context" as Kwest put it.

Context. Pondering that notion, Tommy flipped several of the switches on the sound board in front of him, and Jude's vocals filled the room.

"_Look working on a song, it is like falling in love. At first it is a rush, but then it gets painful and sometimes you got to walk a way. But sometime you walk out of it with something beautiful."_ When they had first start working together he had told her that writing music was like falling in love, but what he left out was the intimacy of producing her music. He helped coax out her deepest feelings, tried to share the music and rhythm which were in her head. Tommy knew better then anyone that you could easily have sex and not be intimate, but he didn't think that he could produce music with Jude and for it not to be an emotional process.

Initially, he had tried to ignore his reaction to her; then promised himself that he wouldn't cross that line, that he wasn't that guy. But at her 16th birthday when he had seen her so heart broken in the rain, asking him what was wrong with her, something took hold of him and he literally took hold of her.

"_You are asking the wrong guy!"_ It wasn't just lust, it was this overwhelming desire to make it better, to tell her she didn't need to change one thing to make him crazy about her. The kiss had been electric, and had taken everything he had to break away. Equally, last winter when she finished the album, the heady mixture of producing an amazing track and working on very little sleep resulted in them just falling into each other's arms. They had broken it off a bit stunned that it had even happened, but also because they both knew that if it had carried on a few minutes more it would have gotten a lot more serious.

Something was still missing from the track and he opened up on Pro Tools and started playing around with some of the guitar solos.

"_You don't know about how many times I thought about…just asking you to leave with me."_ But he never did because she deserved better. Despite his attraction to her, he had really tried to be the better man. And there were always more reasons then he could count for her to be off limits. She was too young. She was his artist. She was some else's girlfriend. Not factors that had ever stopped him before, but with Jude he wanted to be worthy of her. So even though he wanted her he had insisted on their limits. During their first year working together, he almost left, twice. He could feel what was building between them and had tried to just push it away. He dated her sister, tried to move on, but still found himself savouring casual touches and hugs.

The irony was that Jude never thought that he was anything else other then a good guy. Even her reaction to his list of women was to see a positive in him, she never assumed that sex with him would be anything more the memorable for herself; rather she worried about whether she would be memorable for him.

Like that was even an issue. She had the capacity to turn him on seconds even when she was fifteen and had ridiculous red hair. With Jude there was never that sense that she was deliberately playing him. She didn't know enough about her own sexuality to know even how hot she was half the time – she could walk into a room with blonde hair that she did herself and still blow him away. Take the evening they recorded White Lines and she told said, _"It's about you."_ He would never forget the electricity which passed between them when she told him that this heart-wrenching song was for him. He felt like every hair stood up on his body.

He hit the last few buttons on the computer and the full track of "Ultraviolet" came over the speakers. He smiled to himself, the track was slowly coming together.

Taking Jude's virginity was a big deal. He remembered talking to her about her first kiss, telling her how to know if it meant something. _"…a real kiss it isn't in the lips, it's in the heart. And if yours isn't in this one with Shay then it doesn't count."_ Despite what happened yesterday he knew that her heart would be in having sex with him, it would count. And he wanted it to be special, because in his own way he had waited for her too.

He wanted it to be romantic, and about the two of them. He remembered vividly the first time he worked with her on a song, she challenged him, listened to him and wrote a song with lyrics better then he could ever come up with. When they wrote music it was this total collaboration, it was like they shared the same resonance. And he wanted sex with her to be like that. He wanted it to be as honest as it was when they made music.

A knock on the door woke Tommy of his deep thought, "Can I clean the room?" The middle-aged night cleaning lady asked politely. Tommy glanced at his watch - it was well past 8. "I better go anyways…", he answered, grabbing his things from the booth, shoving papers and his computer all into his bag and grabbing the red liquorice.

On his way out he bit down on the candy and asked himself what kind of advice Ms McCally would give him. He could hear her sharp but calm voice already in his head, telling him what Kwest had said earlier this evening. He needed to tell Jude he cared and say more then just the cop outs he normally used, like what he said to Jude when she asked why he and Sadie hadn't worked out, _You know exactly why."_ Jude had asked him today for the list because she wanted to know where she fit in his life. And if he was going to be truly honest with her, he realised that he needed not to just give her the list but tell her how he felt.

He needed to tell her that she was more then enough. That he loved her.

It was all about a little context.

* * *

As he entered the warehouse and saw her strumming on her guitar he was stuck by how beautiful she was.

He had snapped at her today not because it was a question of whether she was ready to have sex with him. It was a question of whether he was ready to have sex with her. She had chosen him and he was going to have to live up to the expectations that it brought with it. And not just about sex, but about being a boyfriend who deserved to be with her. A boyfriend who recognised that for all her musical strength, she was nervous about having sex for the first time. Nervous just like he was; that she wasn't who he wanted.

And now he had to tell her that she couldn't be more wrong.


End file.
